Sunday, January 30, 2011

Sunday Morning (and I'll be fine...)

Sunday morning, not yet nine, and the quiet is still reigning over all this part of the world. The loudest thing anywhere is the sound of the clock ticking on the wall above me. Wait, let me listen -- yup, that's it. No traffic, no distant voices, no babies or dogs, not even any ducks or geese, although they did have a loud party earlier.

I am feeling very happy this morning -- I have the day off, of course, and some small plans for using it -- some small shopping things that I need to do, and some errands to perform, like the library and so on -- but for the most part, it is a Free Day (as witness my pajamas) and no time limits or scheduled events. Ahhh...

Today is the 3oth of January, and the camellias are blooming! Blooming away as though the sun were shining! Hooray for the never-ending cycle of nature; at least that doesn't change!

And the house is mostly clean, so no niggling back-of-the-mind anxiety about getting it so -- I do need to clean up the kitchen, but the dining room table is empty of anything except a bowl of tangelos (
gorgeous color of orange they are, too!) and the office where I currently sit is completely clean, as well, no piles here and there around the edges.

And, last night before bed, I put the last painted ceramic drawer-knob on the front of my bathroom cabinet. I had painted the doors and drawer fronts with some blue paint that I was able to mix from some leftovers of my dad's, to be the perfect shade of robin's-egg blue. Matches the sink and bathtub perfectly. And the ceramic knobs, each painted with a pink rose, are so much better looking, now, than they would have been on the plain off-white rental-unit paint which was on these doors and drawer fronts before. AND better-looking than the round silver knobs that were on them! And to think that I found them in a plastic baggie, for sale at the Salvation Army for 99 cents, and thus started the whole process of thought and deed!

Yesterday I also bought at the Sally Army, a very battered and wrinkled and out-of-shape box with a plastic pot and some compressed dirt and an amaryllis bulb in it. I had put it back on the shelf, thinking it would certainly not grow at all, after who-knew-how-long in this cardboard box. But then I thought, what the hell! It's only 99 cents! And bought it. I soaked the disc of compressed dirt in water, as you are supposed to do, and planted the bulb, and set it on top of the low bookcase in the dining room. And today, there is a pale tip of a leaf showing. Less than 24 hours later. I am delighted! It is supposed to be one of the vivid scarlet (or crimson -- I can never remember which of these color names represents the shade of red this flower is supposed to be) amaryllis flowers, and I look forward extremely to seeing its bloom in my dining room!

Now, as for Joe, he is supposed to be coming to pick up his food box today, some time this evening. We shall see, since the past two weeks have passed without any sign of him. If this food box does not get picked up or received, then I think I am going to have to decide that he can feed himself without help from me. His new room-mate is apparently doing his share of the support. Joe is still in college, still attending classes, but I don't have any actual facts to share, so I'm just not going to attempt it! He is alive and full of big plans for himself and his future, so I am just determined to "be happy" about that.

Otherwise, my life continues to continue, and I am looking forward with longing to the spring. I'm sniffing the air for the smell of daphne!
And looking around for the tips of crocus bulbs. Even though I look out my window every day with pleasure at the view, I know I am going to be so much happier when there are leaves and birds and the smell of blossoms on the breeze! And when I can sit out on the deck and read my books, instead of on the more-comfortable leather furniture inside the house! Silly, no? But so human!

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

I want my sickbed clean!

Day Three of this migraine, and the first day that I have spent out of bed -- it wiped out the Sunday and Monday, and seriously screwed up my life-timing. Now I don't know whether to go straight to bed as soon as I get off work, or whether to go and take my yoga class and try to bluff my way out Of this. I think I will go straight home and go to bed. My house is still clean and quietly welcoming -- except the kitchen which is rather lived-in -- from Mickey's birthday visit on Saturday morning. I will tidy up the kitchen, and then it will be quietly shining again. I value that when ill, you know -- I value it at all times, but especially when ill -- when I cannot bear a mess and have to keep my eyes closed against it, if I have fallen ill in a messy house. I remember getting Ruthie up when she was migraining, and making her bed with some new pillowcases, and then brushing and braiding her hair, and putting her back to bed, and how she sighed with relief and pleasure. That's what I'm talking about -- that relief and pleasure.

Monday, January 10, 2011

No comfort in clutter

Today will be a gooooood day, I will not do anything dummmmmmb.

Who can identify that quote?

In any case, it has been a good day, and will probably continue to be, although it is pretty darn chilly, and I am still feeling uncertain in my interior region. By which I mean that I took a pain pill this morning, and I have been acutely nauseated all day, and eating crackers carefully and slowly to keep everything down. Now, this could be because I took too many yesterday, and was still feeling over-medicated this morning -- and that is the answer I would like it to be. Cuz I don't want to have suddenly developed vomiting as a side-effect of oxycodone. That would not be good, cuz then what would I do when I had a toothache? Or something like it?

While making coffee this morning in my spotlessly clean and welcoming little kitchen, I noticed that the patio area below had been swept clean of the thick matt of sodden rotting leaves which had covered it from end to end. Completely clean and quiet and looking very tidy and open. The couple of statues in the garden area are still there, and quite visible now, and the little still-lit Christmas tree shape was glowing valiantly. Quite lovely and unexpected. And since this morning was quite clear and cold, the air was un-blurred with cloud or fog, and that increased the quiet peaceful look of tidy togetherness. The ducks were busy, also, earnestly flapping and splashing and diving underwater. I do like tidiness -- it makes everything seem more welcoming, to me -- I'm never going to be one of those people who prefers a "comfortable mess" or the "welcoming clutter" of the "lived-in look." Even though I may frequently leave a mess somewhere, it always makes me uncomfortable. So you see the degree of my laziness, that I'm willing to be uncomfortable, rather than clean things up! Alas.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Like a Hole in the Head

"I need that like I need a hole in my head" -- I heard a woman use that extremely hackneyed phrase to another woman at the Salvation Army just a day or so ago. And the implication is that a hole in one's head is to be avoided, since it would be, at best, painful and messy, and at worst, fatal. I understand that.

But the hole which I currently have in MY head, is as welcome, (she said shamelessly) as the flowers that bloom in the Spring. Thank you, Mr. William Schwenk Gilbert. See, yesterday, with the miserably painful tooth that I was griping about in the previous post, I was driven to call the first dentist on the list of dentists which pulled up to the query "free emergency dental." Now, no one is both free and emergency, but this dentist was less expensive, would accept patients with no dental insurance, and could see me immediately! AND had nitrous oxide! And he and his staff were so very friendly and helpful and kindly -- it was a joy to be there, and took under an hour.

So THAT's what I mean, when I say or I sing/ as welcome as flowers that bloom in the Spring!

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

No dentist for YOU, missy!

Well, after a very pain-filled night, I came to the office, extremely short on sleep, and called the Dental School to see if they could take me in this morning, instead of waiting for a week from tomorrow, which is when my appointment is set for.


I was sure they would but simply charge me through the nose for it, but she said firmly that they were full today and tomorrow, but if I called first thing tomorrow, I might be able to be seen Thursday. So why can't we simply make my emergency appointment for Thursday? I asked. She said that she could not make appointments for urgent care ahead of time.

My last plea was, "I really am in significant pain -- could not sleep last night. Is this really all we can do about it?"

She said, "Yes."

Monday, January 3, 2011

Cold and Golden.

Noisy this morning -- the ducks were doing their Barking Dog imitation, sounding like nothing so much as several dogs barking at one another in a neighborhood -- first one and then another. And the constant flashes of white through the dark window let me know that they were also splashing down and swimming fast and making a lot of water noise as well. Getting good and warmed up, out there in the frigid, below-zero morning, sitting on the water. Of all cold places to be!

Driving in to work, the particulate level in the air was perfect for me to be able to look almost directly into the rising sun, without being blinded, or overwhelmed, and yet able to clearly distinguish it's round edges. Could see the outline of two-thirds of the sun, looking much like it does in a desert movie, when they are showing the flat landscape shimmering with golden heat, and the occasional giraffe lolloping past like a rocking horse. I expected to hear "The Circle of Life."

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Best wishes for a lovely New Year!

Saturday morning, and I've just finished a large piping hot bowl of oatmeal and raisins. Not the breakfast I was hungering for, but it was one for which I had the ingredients and which I felt able to eat, given my wretched tooth situation. With the sole remaining molar on the right having a crown that pops off without warning, and the enormous hole in the middle of the left-hand row of molars, any sort of chewing is going to be difficult and delicate at best. And since the hole on the left-hand side has begun swelling and throbbing and going off like a bottle-rocket whenever anything even slightly cold gets near it, the choices were even fewer. I did toy with the idea, several times this morning, of going over to Sully's and having a hot eggy-toasty breakfast with several cups of that exquisite coffee, but 1) I cannot afford it at all, and 2)it would be difficult to chew it up properly. And, 3) I doubt he is open on New Year's Day. In fact, if I remember correctly from last year, he will be closed for several days.

This is Day One of the New Year. It will be better for me than last because of the following reasons, which I will now proceed to relate.

1. I no longer have a teen-aged boy living with me. Oh, Hallelujah. And no, I don't get lonely.

2. I have a year-long membership to a yoga studio near work. So, if all goes well, I will be going there every day after work, for at least one class. And possibly more on week-ends.

3. My parents are available on weekends now, so I can make that trip whenever I like, and spend a night with them, where I will be welcomed and cosseted.

The first reason, may seem unkind to Joe. And to a certain extent it is. But he behaved better than many teen-aged boys do, in this world nowadays, and still I was counting the seconds for him to find a new home. You just do not want to spend any time sharing an apartment, or a small house, with a large, loud, smelly, clumsy, lazy (repeat) lazy lazy lazy teen-aged boy. I could never get in the shower without it instantly squirting me with frigid water, since he never put the lever down -- just turned off the water. Nor did he ever take the clothing he had been wearing when he went in, out with him when he left, so there was always a pair of smelly boxer shorts on the floor when I went in the bathroom. Every single day when I got home from work, every light in the house was on, whether Joe was at home or not. He never put his dishes in the dishwasher, nor the food he had been eating away. And these faults were not him trying to get across me -- they were just him behaving normally. So, as I said -- Hallelujah!

The outdoors is still very quiet, in spite of the past-noon face of the clock -- people are still sleeping off their New Year's celebration. Even the ducks were swimming quietly about in neat little diagonal lines when last I looked out. They also seem to know, cuz otherwise they would (likely) be splashing and quacking away like mad. My plans for the day include a hot shower and a book or two and some tea, but also the grocery store and bank and mailing some checks. Must pay the rent, and possibly a bill or two! It is Saturday, so I have another entire day tomorrow to devote to reading and drinking tea with an afghan across my legs (it is so very cold!) and it is a New Year! Got another whole one rolling out in front of me! Cheers!