Sunday, February 28, 2010

Country Diary

You know that lovely book that Mom gave me when I was living in Cannon Beach with them -- "The Country Diary of an Edwardian Lady?" It is a beautiful thing, and I've read it twice and looked through it randomly several times -- well, it caught my eye while I was doing some unpacking and arranging in my room, and I began looking through it again, carrying it out and sitting in my chair in the living room while doing so. I even tried to point out some of its beauties to Joe, as well as its obvious time specificity -- whatever that word ought to be. Damn this post-brain-hemmorhage-mentality! -- since there aren't young woman who spend all their days painting the local flora and fauna and drinking tea anymore.

Anyway. So the book has been sitting on my ottoman in the living room for a week or so. And then I exchanged my library books, and was reading one of them, another time-specific story of a divorced woman looking for love in the sixties and seventies. Called "Nell." And toward the end, it mentions by name the book she is reading, (although throughout the book, they never did -- only said, "she picked up her book" or something like that) and the book is "The Country Diary of an Edwardian Lady!" I looked from the name on the page to the book itself lying on my ottoman! And it's not as though I have ever seen it mentioned in ANYTHING before! Not like Stephen King or Ruth Rendell or Alexander McCall Smith!

This is one of those amazing little bits of coincidence that would freak Michael out for a week. He would have grabbed up the book and hurled it into the trash outside the house, and then huddled in a room somewhere, telling me how much he didn't like it. "I don't like this, maa-aa-aan!"

Tee-Hee. But pretty cool, no?

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Grooooan, Not Again!

Day Two of Allergenic Conjunctivitis! BotherATION!

Friday, February 19, 2010

Headache -- so sick of that word

I woke this morning with a spot of pain -- just a pinprick, a tiny red eye of pain in The Spot above my right eye. It did not melt away in the hot, steamy shower; it did not vanish with my large cup of scalding and very caffienated coffee; nor did it pack its tent like the Arabs and silently steal away with my dose of ibuprofen.


It has, in fact, grown and burgeoned and spread its wings and settled itself for -- at least -- the day, and probably several days. It now occupies the whole front right quadrant of my brain, the area around my eye and my right cheekbone.

And I am just so very damn sick and tired of this ridiculous and pointless and purposeless and stupid and PAINFUL process! Let me OUT!!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Are you there, God? It's me -- Denouncer

Goodness me, I am SURROUNDED by Christians! And here I was feeling good because my boss and my cousin both share my worldview pretty entirely -- Doug even more so than Mickey, since she is aggressive and militant about her beliefs, whereas Doug is pretty laid back about almost everything. Doug is very nearly a lazy man. But not! Really not. Just very nearly.

But here I am, with nearly daily contact with at least four! And Four asked, (after praying for me) very politely, about my belief system and I told him, though it made me feel sort of rude, that as far as I can tell, there is no God. He, however, views me now as a challenge, since I "had the Light" and then denounced it -- doesn't that make me one of the unforgiveable ones?


Sunday, February 14, 2010

Sunday Afternoon Blues

Actually, now that I'm at the library and at last have my fingers on this keyboard, I am feeling much better. My unhappiness, briefly stated, is definable in one word -- Joe. 'Nough said.

Yesterday was real estate class day, and breakfast with Mickey at O'Conner's day -- and soon turned into daylong hangout with Mickey and Billy and Kevin and entertaining Bryson and Calhoun day. Still, a good time was had by me, at least -- and everyone else seemed to have a good time as well, except for Joe. And Joe's distress was caused by a hangover from the night before of drink and unnamed drug use -- or at least affected by that, if not caused. Don't want to be too dismissive here.

Class was pretty interesting, too -- all about decommissioning old underground oil tanks. And breakfast at O'Conner's was actually delicious -- oatmeal and raisins. Yum. Afterward we had arranged for Joe and Kevin to get Joe's big screen TV, and for the rest of the family to hang out with me while they did that. We fed the ducks and geese and nutrias several loaves of bread, which was pretty exciting for everyone, especially Bryson, who does get pretty torqued up when things have any oomph to them. And it was Kevin's birthday, so that was fun as well.

However, Joe's issue -- well, let's see. Joe has all sorts of issues, and they come and go. His most recent issues, however, seem to be 1)the fact that he does not have a bedroom in my apartment, and 2) a very rude girlfriend, and 3) new and different life plans which call for him to stay at home and join the National Guard, and 4) that I thoughtlessly paid his ticket for him by sending a check to the office, instead of waiting to hear from him about it (today) and letting him carry the check to the office himself, thereby getting a note from them that he could then carry to the DMV and pay their fine and get his license reinstated. I did, however, point out to him that he was not yet in a state of suspension, which ought to please him, when he can calm down enough to think it over.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Am I Doing the Right Thing?

This past week I got my checks deposited and wrote my rent check, paid Joe's ticket with his money, and paid for his storage locker. And that's it. That's all the money it was, for half a month. My mother very sweetly gave me a check for $24 which will go toward one of my other bills, in the towering pile on the dining room table. But what am I doing? Is it right for me to be living this life? Can I make it? Joe's phone service will not get paid for, this month, because his money had to go toward paying off his ticket. And of course, it's in my name. I paid my car insurance bill on my credit card, but I haven't even made a credit card payment for a month -- no money. Phone bill, electricity -- I guess I can do without a phone for awhile -- I'm at work most of the day, anyway. My next check will go, mostly, toward paying off Aunt Kathy -- I'll have $250 left over. And that will pay at least one of the bills.

No, no -- panic receding. I'm going to be fine. If I can just keep Joe from doing anything stupid for two more months -- then I can pack his little behind into the army.

And my mother, so very kindly, lent me her digital camera, so I will be selling stuff online, as soon as I can get it together to do that. Starting, in fact, tonight. I will keep careful track of what I do online, and see how well that works for me. I'll start with a few of my valuable books -- because why should I keep them just to have? They are beautiful, but they don't do me nearly as much good as the money they are worth will do me.

It's going to be okay! I'm going to be okay. I can do this, and still take care of my bills, and everything will work out.

I promise!

Monday, February 8, 2010

The Edge of the World

I went to Cannon Beach on Sunday, and visited my Mom. My Dad was off at their Retirement Home in Ocean Park, but my mother had to stay home, since volunteers were arriving that weekend. I left about eight-thirty, and arrived about ten -- it was a lovely fair morning for driving, and I do love the drive to the coast. Especially when I am not driving, but just looking and looking out the windows at all the loveliness. But even if I am driving, it is great to have the time to myself. Just me and the radio! You know I was singing along, too!

So I got there about an hour before she left for church, and when she left, I took my erstwhile regular morning walk, down to the beach, and then south to the Rock, back into town, and home again. The weather was splendid for being February at the coast -- a breeze, but not enough to chill, warm sun, a few shimmering clouds to lend the air a haze -- gorgeous weather at the Edge of the World!

I packed up the rest of my belongings, ate some of my mother's homemade bread, toasted with cinnamon sugar, and just chatted with Mom. A good time was had by all.


Friday, February 5, 2010

Fight Club

Well -- for the next six weeks, or so, Joe's Fight Club days are over. He broke his thumb -- split the metacarpal -- and is in a cast. On the one hand, this is very distressing to me, and on the other, I am grimly glad. Some serious pain is exactly what Joe needs, if he is to learn that fighting is not a good thing. And he has never lost a fight until now -- so has never had any serious pain. Well, and now he does.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Attention stupid people

Okay -- this is very annoying to me. You know that ridiculous abbreviation, "lol," that people use all the time online to indicate that they are amused? It acutually stands for "laughing out loud" and is almost always used when the person is clearly NOT laughing out loud. I NEVER use it under ANY circumstances.

However, this is worse! When people wish to emphasize it, they lengthen it, thusly "looool." Which then means "laughing out out out out loud."

What does that mean? That means absolutely nothing! Nothing at all! LOOKS stupid, SOUNDS stupid and IS stupid.


I'm offended -- give me money

I was just polite and helpful to a man who called a Chinese woman, "some Oriental guy."

Of course, I have occasionally thought the word "Oriental" when thinking about Asian people, so I guess I can't really be horrified, though I have managed not to say it aloud -- nor do I really understand why "Oriental" is considered bad manners -- I would not be even slightly offfended to be identified as an Occidental woman, but I guess that's neither here nor there. Anyway, he was talking on a cell phone while driving, so there was a lot of background noise. I made him repeat the phrase "some Oriental guy," just to be sure, and to give him the chance to correct himself, but he just said it louder. Nor would I recognize the name Xiao as being feminine, if I didn't know Xiao, so I guess I'm just offended at the general attitude. He was clearly not very polite or mannerly, nor very aware.

Anyway, I think I deserve a raise.