Thursday, March 29, 2012

Me and the delivery man

All, all alone in the office... Nearly lunch time and with the exception of the Office Depot delivery man for about 35 seconds, I have been the only human in the place. What is up with that? I have been amusing myself just fine (trust me for that) but I also feel as though I might be the only person left on the planet (with the exception of the Office Depot delivery man, of course.)

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

You are Too Impatient with People

Am I too impatient with people? Am I regularly impatient with people to the extent that other people notice? Oh, dear...

I mean, I feel impatient, fairly often, but I guess if I thought about it (which I never do) I would tell myself that I keep my feelings hidden away within.

I was told last night that I would be a poor salesperson because I was "too impatient with people all the time."

Sorry, everybody!

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Wet and tired and grumpy

My house is clean and tidy and ready for company, cuz John Bell is arriving this evening! Woo-Hoo! I also got the zip-off pillow-top for a double bed from the Salvation Army, and it is now making my bed far more comfortable, especially for those who are not used to its creaky boniness.

Now, yesterday I started a post, and had a paragraph or two written, when something occurred to me to check, and instead of opening a new window, I just went to the web site from this one. So of course my post completely disappeared. And now I cannot remember what I was writing about. Sigh.

Grey skies and wet pavements await John as he trundles around town with his suitcase. I texted him an offer to come and pick him up if he needed it, anywhere he might be, and he replied along the lines of "Thanks but no thanks." Hmmm. We shall see. If he is still channelling his inner pack-mule, then he may appear on my doorstep, wet and tired and grumpy.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

It's a hard life by all accounts

I am having a hard time reconciling this unbelievable sweet warm, gorgeous aroma with the cold, wet, slushy snow melting in the parking lot. Daphne smells of vivid sunshine, brilliant blue-and-gold days with warmth and light and buoyancy. Not this hunched, shivering, feet-sliding-out-from-under-you weather.

Plus there is the sadness and the sense of failure, of seeing the brave and cheerful little colored faces disppear under the thick blanket of cold, cold whiteness.

It's a hard life by all accounts.

Monday, March 19, 2012


Me (to doctor): I'm having just terrific acid reflux, frequently waking me, and sometimes making me throw up.

Doctor: ...Uhh, why is that terrific?

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Oh, dear.

Well, I took a walk today. Yup, just like I am always thinking I will. I did. And although I am glad that I did, (especially since now it is raining like a big dog) I am also very saddened and surprised and kind of horrified to see just how bad is the shape I am in.

I walked for thirteen blocks. At the beginning of the third block, my legs were protesting, not violently, but quite noticeably. By the end of the fifth block, I was limping on my left leg, I couldn't really tell why, but that's how the pain was expressing itself. I had to pause a few times for a few moments every block after five. On the ninth block, I was limping on my right leg. I never did get short of breath, although I was breathing firmly through my nose as I climbed the stairs to my apartment.

Oh, dear.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

No More Pineapple

Man, I am having a bad day with acid reflux. Can't tell why, either, I haven't eaten anything out of the way, or done anything tense, or anything like that. Nothing should have caused this. And I took my pill this morning. But I have just been munching on antacid tablets for the past hour or so -- probably twelve of them so far. And still feel the heat in my stomach and sternum and the back of my throat. Urrgh.

Oh, hey, funny thing. You remember how pineapple has always made the inside of my mouth itch? Not much and never any other reaction to it, but it does. Well, today I met Mickey and Billy at the Old Market Pub for breakfast, and had a Caribou Lou, a tall glass of pineapple juice with shots of rum in it. And just as I was finishing the first one and ordering the second, I began to feel very bad in my face. It felt as if it were swollen, my eyes felt like they were so tight I couldn't blink them, and breathing became noisy and difficult through the nose. Thinking and talking were bad, too. Eventually, I figured out that I was having an allergic reaction to something, and that it was probably the pineapple juice. I didn't drink the second drink. After a couple of antihistamines, I felt better, and now I feel pretty much fine, although my nose is still a little bit noisy. So -- no pineapple for me. Sigh....

Tuesday, March 13, 2012


 Snow on March 13th?  How very unusual!  And sadly, after nearly everything has bloomed, so they are all going to die -- or at least, are very likely to.  It wasn't so very cold this morning, but very snowy, with a thick grey-white cloud bank lying low down to earth and covering all the mountains and even the closer hills.  Lots of wind, lots of fiercely flying wet snow, lots of frigid puddles.

Still, everyone drove at seventy-plus on the freeway, just as though it were not difficult to see through the flying snow, and there weren't slushy ridges of snow between lanes.  I did make it safely in to work, and can now go and re-do my hair, and try to dry out my cold wet socks.
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Sunday, March 11, 2012

Not a good start to the day

My lower back went from being gently sore yesterday, to being impossible to move without pain this morning. I managed to shower, and drink coffee, with lots of gasps and "oohh--owww" but I'm still not able to dress. What is up with that? I am not prepared or willing to have back problems! I'm much too fat to have back problems! No no no no no!

Plus which, my plan for this morning was to clean the offices. Which requires vacuuming and carrying large bags of garbage out to the Dumpster.

And, the allergy that my right eye had throughout Matt and Susanna's visit was apparently only temporarily stopped last Monday -- I noticed it was watering yesterday, and this morning it still is. So damn it! What the heck is going on?


Saturday, March 10, 2012

Smelling daphne in my mind

As I was driving up Harrison towards 224, I caught a quick glimpse of the neighbor's daphne bush -- full to bustin' of blooms. I almost stopped the car and picked some, but I was on my way to set up for Second Saturday class, and so did not. But then on the way home from Mickey and Billy's at five or so, I came home by way of 99E, and so was not reminded. And now it's nine-thirty. I've got to remember tomorrow. I can almost smell it now, just thinking about it, and I can't wait for my eyes to actually roll back in my head. Mmmmm...

Friday, March 9, 2012

Adoption Anniversary

Eleven years ago today, I became a legal mother. I had been Joe's mother since the day I saw him, of course, but this was the day that the adoption was finally, finally official. I am taking him (and his girlfriend) out to dinner tonight to celebrate. This is the first time anyone else has been along on one of our Adoption Anniversaries. We will have a good time.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Friday. Yes.

I have been eating jerky again. Shame on me. My gums are throbbing in accordance with the toughness and difficult-to-chew-ish-ness that inhabits each succulent teriyaki-flavored piece of dried beef. But it is just so good, and I kept taking another small piece out of the bag and chewing and chewing and chewing and chewing...until I realized that the faint warmth in the gums around my left rear molar had suddenly become HOT! Throbbing! pain! Which, in spite of an application of Anbesol, can still be felt, although now it is so mild that I don't even recognize it as pain. Such is my stoicism.

I must remember to drink a tall glass of juice before going to bed, just in case the three cups I drank at work were not enough to rehydrate all that meat. Don't want any intestinal upheavals.

Tomorrow is Friday. Yes.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

I've had a moon-full

The moon is absolutely gorgeous tonight, huge and yellow and round and brilliant in a deep purple-black sky. Gor-hor-horgeous. It will be full tomorrow, by the way, for any meteorological tight-asses out there.

Got my DNA results back -- and I am 100 per cent Western European. In fact, to put it bluntly, I am mostly from the British Isles, with the little bit left over being from Scandinavia. Soooo.....what about all the Bechtelsheimer stuff about Germany? I guess that old saying about it being a wise man who knows his own father is pretty darn accurate. Somewhere along there, someone was not fathered by the father they thought fathered them. Or, there was a slight error in calculations in my testing. I will have it done by someone else, when I am feeling flush again. And we shall see.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

And also, a bag of books.

Snowed this morning. When I looked out my bedroom window I was very startled to see the snow on the neighbor's roof, and when I hurried in to the dining room to look out the glass door, I saw the tiny flakes falling through the air. But this afternoon was bright blue and gold with a warm breeze, and tonight the sky is deep and clear and if that moon is not full, it is as near as damnit. I walked down to the library after I got home from work, and checked out a bag of books, and then walked over to the Thai restaurant, what's it called? Rice? I think Rice. And ate a large meal. But then I walked off and left my tom kha with shrimp on the table, so no lunch tomorrow, which was part of my justification of spending that much money to feed myself. Two meals for the price of one! Sigh. It was delicious, though, and yet not fattening. And I also have a bag of books!

Monday, March 5, 2012

Very, very pleased. Really. Very.

My baby sister Susanna and her husband Matt just left my apartment, heading up the highway to the airport. They arrived from Colorado Springs last Thursday, and this is Monday, so -- carry the one -- they have been here for five days. Really a very nice long visit, and I should not be sad, I should be dancing around enjoying the peaceful emptiness of my rooms. But I am. Sad, I mean. Just as I am always sad when I drive away from Mom and Dad's, or when Ruthie gets back on the train. These people are members of my family, and especially Ruth and Susanna, are people that can I count on, no matter what, to love me. If I am spotty, or clumsy, or badly dressed or fat. This past weekend,(por ejemplo) I was having some sort of allergy, and my right eye was swollen, bright pink and watering. I looked like a girl with Down's Syndrome that I knew when I was small. But no one avoided looking at me, or mentioned my off-putting ugliness, or anything.

Wait a minute, I don't mean to imply that Mom and Dad will NOT love me if I am fat or spotty, since obviously they will. Which is what I meant to imply. OBVIOUSLY they will, so it doesn't count. Although I do love them both dearly, they are my parents, and they will love me, even if I waddle up to their door at five hundred pounds.

But! In spite of my blueness, let's talk about this visit. First of all, though, I need to go and start a load of towels, since we whipped through them this past weekend. Back in a minute...

Okay, back. Towels whushing back and forth, back and forth. Where was I? Matt and Susanna arrived on Thursday morning, and I was so very glad to see them, especially my dear Suzette-Suzanne, but also my brother-in-law Matt, who is not only one of the best guys I have ever met, but my son Joe's hero, and my baby sister's husband. So you see. We hung around the apartment and exclaimed with affection at one another for a bit, and then ensconced them in my (very clean, ahem) bedroom, and drove off in their cute little rental to buy a hat or two. It seems that Matt's favorite brand of hat manufacturers has a branch in Northwest, so over the Fremont bridge we went, and spent several hours wandering up and down NW 23rd, which used to be my absolute home. If I ever need to leave this apartment, I will be heading back there to Myrtle's house. It was a sunny day, with a bright blue sky, and we all bought sunglasses at Urban Outfitters, and looked in many shop windows, and bought a total of four hats, (one for Susanna) and had brunch at Bertie Lou's in Sellwood, where I made Susanna pass out. Bad Beth!

Then home again, where Joe and his girlfriend Catt joined us, and visited with us until it was time to make our way to Gino's in Sellwood for dinner with Mickey and Billy. And THAT was a good time, let me tell you. Matt and Billy at one end of the table talking away nineteen to the dozen, Susanna and Mickey earnestly conversing across them, and me and the kids at the other end. Lovely.

The next morning we had breakfast at Sully's, and packed up the car and headed off to Ocean Park. The drive took a little longer than usual, mostly because Matt is not a speeder like me, at least in country he has never driven through before. But we arrived shortly after lunch time to happy laughter and chatter from Mom and Dad, who love Susanna best of all their children, since she was their last, and their only experience of an only child. She and they made the trips to and from Mexico together, and they experienced at last what it was to have a child who sneaked out of the house at night, and openly defied them on a regular basis. Thus they love her best, which does not bother me in the least. I fully understand it, and if it were not for Ruthie, my best and dearest friend, I would love Susanna best, too.

Our stay there was one hundred per cent delightful, in spite of my wretched eye, and I enjoyed it. We spent three days and two nights, and came home yesterday afternoon. Ate dinner at the Ram's Head, which Matt really enjoyed, and then came home and visited and chatted and talked until midnight.

And then today, this morning before their flight left, we drove over to Northwest again and ate breakfast at Besaw's (where I had not been for some ten years)and which was very enjoyable, with excellent coffee and very good brioche French toast. We then went to Pioneer Place, where Matt and Susanna took me to the AT&T store, and put me on their family plan, and bought me a cell phone.

You heard me! I now have my very own cell phone, which cost them nothing, since the rebate being offered more than covered the cost of it, and the monthly fee for unlimited texting and a lot of talk will be ten dollars a month. Ten dollars! A month. Wow.

I have been playing with it all morning, although now it is charging overnight. I have texted Susanna, and taken two pictures, and entered Mickey's phone number in the Contacts list. I am joining the modern world!

I am really very, very pleased. Really. Very.