As a Kite By Then

Wow.

Okay, so NOW I know what it is all about!

All right, see this is day three of one of my ear-infections, and it was a very bad day. Swollen enough this morning that I couldn't hear from it at all, and I cannot chew (swollen jaw hinge) and have a fever and cannot eat, now, though I did eat my lunch, and was beginning to get sudden vicious stabs of pain, off and on, and they were BAD. Seriously bad, so that I was in dread of them even when not having them.

SO, when I got home I decided that as soon as my load of laundry was done, I would go over to the hospital and see an ER doctor, and get antibiotics, which, as we all know, work very very well on something as small and contained as an ear infection. I had been thinking - previously - that I wouldn't do that, this time, and just see how well (and how rapidly) I could heal myself, since I felt sure that it would heal, eventually. But man alive, those pains, and then not being able to chew, so no eating -- I was pretty much ready to go.

But I suddenly thought of the pain pills I had been prescribed when they snatched my gall bladder out -- damn them! -- and without much hope, I popped the last two. That was a little over an hour ago.

And MERCY. This feeling is very, very good. I mean, WOW. I had only taken those pills before one at a time, and they had helped with the pain, of course, but this time I took both of the remaining pills. And the pain is completely gone, though I can still feel my swollen state, of course -- my hands and cheeks are thrumming, I feel very floaty and warm all over in a very smooth and -- I almost said "loving" way. See? I'm stoned. A very self-contained way. I can think very well, my head is echoing slightly, I feel waves of slightly itchy warmth rolling over me, and then back away again. I feel both IN my body, and separate from it.

These pills are Percocet, so oxycodone. Now I know why people take these just for fun! I have never understood that before, since they have never done anything -- AT ALL -- good for me. Usually made me feel vaguely nauseated. But now I KNOW!