Thursday, February 24, 2011

Are you my driver?

Strange thing happened today, at the post office. I was there to mail a few books off to BookMooch people, and the place was nearly empty. Just me and the man in front of me. And then a woman hurried in with a whoosh of air. "It's snowing!" she said. "Snowing but not sticking. Snow, snow, snow!" I turned and looked at her. She was shorter than I, and probably a few years younger, with shiny brown hair, a pleasant enough face, and a large bosom, which was unconfined. She was wearing a stiffish jacket, however, so it wasn't terribly noticeable. I smiled and turned back. And then got my turn at the counter. While I was dealing with the postal employee, I saw this woman staring at me from the line. Really staring, too, and really at me. Not with any sort of rigidity, or frozen glare, or anything, just looking directly at me without turning her eyes away. It made me a tiny bit uncomfortable looking back at her, so I looked away. Then I got my change, thanked the employee, and was starting out the door.

"Wait, wait!" I heard. "I'll just be a minute, it won't take a minute. Please wait!" I turned and looked back at the woman who was hurriedly thrusting her letter at the postal employee I had just left. "I just need one stamp," she said. And then turning to look at me, she called pleadingly, "Wait for me!"

I didn't really know what to do. So I waited. She was clearly, it seemed to me, not completely compos mentis -- or, if she was, she was at least unusual in her behavior. I was uncomfortable, but not freaked out or anything. So I waited. In a moment she hurried up to me.

"I'm done!" she announced. "Just needed one stamp. Just mailing my electric. We can go now. Let's go! Out into the snow!"

"Why did you want me to wait for you?" I asked gently. She looked at me, squinting her eyes.
"You were leaving without me," she said. "You're driving me today. And you were ahead of me, and you weren't waiting, so I asked you to wait and you waited. You're my driver. You're driving me."

"No, I'm not your driver," I said. "I've never seen you before. "

"You're not? Are you SURE?" she wailed, quietly, looking very distressed.

"Yep, I'm sure," I said. I pointed at the Buick. "See, that's my car. I drove in it all alone today. You weren't with me."

"Oh, there's my car!" she exclaimed, pointing at a large, clean, bright red SUV of some recent type. She hurried over to it, saying something about, "that's a relief!" unlocked the door and got in the driver's seat. In a moment, she was driving away.

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