Oh, my goodness. I have just got to share this. I was talking with someone -- we'll call them Anonymous, because that's new and original. I was inviting Anonymous to laugh along with me at the silly behavior of a couple at their wedding. Anonymous did laugh, and then said, in a high, girly voice, "With this ring, I be wed!"
My first thought was that this was a person of very rapid humor indeed, and I shouted with laughter. Anonymous laughed, as well, and then made a remark about how the Olde English of the wedding vows contained strange phraseology like that, since no one would think of saying "I be wed" nowadays. My laughter sort of died away. Wait -- what?
I asked, hesitantly, if that was a joke, or...? Did they not know that the wedding vows say, "With this ring, I thee wed?"
Anonymous stared at me. "No, no -- that doesn't even make any sense!" Anonymous said. "It's a vow, see, they call them marriage vows, and that's what you're doing, you're taking a vow, and that's the vow: I be wed."