Sunday, December 27, 2009

Morning After

WHAT am I going to do with this son? I am horrified to see how very like his father -- and his bio-mom -- he is. Is there nothing of me, none of my training in him at all? It's really very, very upsetting. I feel like one of those parents who adopt a troubled child and then are so distraught to find out that that act did not take away their genetic make-up. Not that I ever thought it would, but I guess I did think -- have always thought -- that nurture is far more than nature. So some of my love and care should have been there in him.

Joe was angry at me, because I was going to take his phone away for a month. This is something we had agreed upon, on several occasions, and I had reminded him of it a number of times. And still, he was $80 over his plan. Not as bad as the month he was $500 over, but still. And yet, he reacted as though I had told him I was going to pull out his teeth with pliers. Shock, horror, and then a hysterical -- and I mean that literally -- reaction that lasted for several hours. Crying, screaming, hitting the wall, stomping, shouting, yelling all kinds of completely false (or just halfway false) accusations at me, and my mothering skills, dating back to when I left his father, and he claims now that he wanted to go with me, but was unable to because I left "early." All sorts of rapid-fire accusations that put me squarely to blame for almost everything that had gone wrong in his life. And no regret or even accepting of responsibility for, his own actions. None whatever.

I'm stunned. Shouldn't be, but am. So now what can I do?

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