Monday, June 23, 2014

Full Circle

Well, it is a peaceful day here in the office -- no one has crossed the threshold since I did, and I've turned the air conditioner way down, since Mickey will not be here today. Her office does not get much movement of air, and it is always too hot for her in here, even when my fingernails are lavender and I'm all goosebumps. So it's nice to know that she won't be coming in, and I can adjust the heating to my specifications.

I also have my cup of hot, hot coffee -- almost too hot to drink, but plenty delicious in the tiny sips I am taking. Strong enough for me to really enjoy -- which is another reason to be glad that no one is here but me. Almost everyone else prefers their coffee weaker than I like it. So I can't indulge myself in good coffee. Creature comforts!

So. This weekend was both very enjoyable, and also
sort of not. Saturday morning I worked, and by the time I got home it was a warm afternoon, although overcast. There was a note under my door from Myrtle, which read, "See me! I have RASPBERRIES!" So I got the raspberries -- freshly picked by Linda from our own bushes! -- from Myrtle, and made them into a pie, which turned out very well -- and I left my door open so that the apartment house was filled with the smell of baking pie -- and then I took it outside with a carton of vanilla ice cream and distributed it amongst my neighbors. One of them was so impressed with it she could not stop exclaiming about how good it was, which made me very happy. So that was a good day.

But then that evening, I got a call from my friend Bradley, who was once my unlamented ex Michael's friend. Michael is due to be released from prison this coming Friday, and Brad called to tell me that Michael had sent him a letter, reminding Brad that back when Michael was first imprisoned, Brad had promised to pick him up when he was released.

Since then, of course, Brad had realized that Michael was a grade-A liar, and had a very unhappy time of trying to relate what he was learning with his memories of their friendship, and all – I felt very bad for him – and had pretty much stopped
accepting Michael's collect calls or sending him cards. But now was feeling that he had made this promise, and had to keep it, and was wanting my opinion. Poor guy.

In spite of how (nearly) entirely I do not care about Michael anymore, and how (almost) completely unconcerned about him I am, it was weirdly upsetting to have Brad telling me what Michael had said, and hearing his imaginary voice in my head. Brad was unhappy, as well, which also made me feel bad.

The upshot of the conversation that he had with Michael, though, was that Michael had changed his mind, and was being picked up by his mother, (his MOTHER!) and would not need Brad. When he called me back to tell me this, Brad was both relieved, and even more unhappy, since he can now tell when Michael is lying -- and I know you're saying, "When his mouth is moving!" -- and although true, there is a certain "I'm-in-control-of-everything" tone of voice that should clue one in immediately. And Brad now recognizes this. Poor guy!

He was also amazed and exclaiming over how rapidly six years had gone by -- which I agree with, it is amazing. But then I comfort myself with the knowledge that Joe is 22, strong and healthy and not on drugs, with a good job, a good girlfriend, a house waiting for him, and a good relationship with me. He will be ALL RIGHT. I command it!

Sunday, I embarrassed myself by taking a watermelon out to the smoking circle, and offering it to them, and having all six of them turn me down. All six! One right after the other. I know I am over-reacting, but I felt very stupid.

So I spent the rest of the afternoon reading in my chair. And went to bed early, where I watched the first Harry Potter, for comfort's sake. And slept very well. And here I am, so that's full circle!